I think I was being too critical of someone in others's view, but I thought I was just commenting on things I didn't cause, like, or something.
I was also wondering why I would have to not imagine people as caricatures, like it's offensive in my private thoughts. It helps me understand what people actually envision of themselves, maybe, or recept what they did in a mean way.
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Apology
Sorry if negative thoughts come to me. I didn't mean what is a big deal now. It's not ever what I meant. I just wanted to stop those silly thoughts. I'm being told I did something and said something. I didn't. It just seemed like it with things getting at me. I was on a walk. You know, like a word coming up.
Problem
My dad keeps bothering my mom, like now when he finds out something I have thought he doesn't agree with having been thought or something.
He's mean to me and denies it sometimes, and he probably uses the excuse my mom is harsh on me for his liking to hurt her emotionally.
He is acting racist now supposedly because I watch Ellen DeGeneres, as tho she told him to do it or it's for her. He's being overly protective of his family, as well.
I don't need my dad following my every thought and maneuvering my life for me.
He's mean to me and denies it sometimes, and he probably uses the excuse my mom is harsh on me for his liking to hurt her emotionally.
He is acting racist now supposedly because I watch Ellen DeGeneres, as tho she told him to do it or it's for her. He's being overly protective of his family, as well.
I don't need my dad following my every thought and maneuvering my life for me.
Before and Now
Why was it easier before to not think things you shouldn't, whereas now negativity is prevalent to me? When a negative thought comes up for some reason, people are mean to me.
Also, sometimes I think things and people take them as complete messages. Then, I can't explain what I really think, which is my own business as is for anyone. It's too late.
People seem to like life to be a test, where you have to challenge thoughts quickly using initial reactions when pushed meanly in if you are able to "think straight." So, they are testy and catch you confused and with thoughts put in your mind by others. Me, tho, sometimes I just think things I don't mean how it seems, piece for piece. I don't go back and can't go back because it's too late. I've been *caught*, already.
Some of this doesn't seem easy to solve. It just makes me have to sacrifice.
Furthermore, I do feel my thoughts or that I am being pushed. I can feel it. Maybe, I need to think in new ways.
Also, sometimes I think things and people take them as complete messages. Then, I can't explain what I really think, which is my own business as is for anyone. It's too late.
People seem to like life to be a test, where you have to challenge thoughts quickly using initial reactions when pushed meanly in if you are able to "think straight." So, they are testy and catch you confused and with thoughts put in your mind by others. Me, tho, sometimes I just think things I don't mean how it seems, piece for piece. I don't go back and can't go back because it's too late. I've been *caught*, already.
Some of this doesn't seem easy to solve. It just makes me have to sacrifice.
Furthermore, I do feel my thoughts or that I am being pushed. I can feel it. Maybe, I need to think in new ways.
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